November 12, 2013

Grey Topics: Top 20 People You’ll Meet During Your Disney College Program

Disney humor  funny ecards Welcome to the Grey Topics!

I present you with the first "Grey Topics" post which is off the grid discussions and topics. Some of it may be rumor, a little offensive and sketchy. Don't like it . . .  click that exit button.*rolls eyes*

Now on to the fun stuff . . .

Top 20 People You’ll Meet During Your Disney College Program

This was a list taken from a Tumblr (source on the bottom) about the 20 types of people you will encounter during your program at Disney. The original poster has since deleted it, because of some hate mail. Which is pointless because it's the truth. I've personally encountered some of the "types" during my last program.

Whether you like it or not, you will need to prepare yourself for reality of what is to come during your program. Enjoy . . . or not! It's up to you.

 ****Disclaimer: This post is not meant to offend any one in any way, if you get offended easily you should probably just scroll past.****  
So, you have officially been accepted into the Disney College Program! That’s exciting news! You’re going to meet a lot of new and awesome people. Hundreds, actually probably thousands. But when you’re meeting CP’s (term for a College Program Participant) from all over the world in your work location, the parks, apartment complexes and even the Facebook groups, they’re all going to fall into a select few categories. A lot of the categories will overlap for certain people, but hopefully this list will help prepare you for all your new coworkers over the next few months.
    Jimmy Kimmel as Snow White 2013
  1. The Pixie Duster : Pixie Dusters are Disney fans and cast members who believe that every single thing Disney does is magical. the company can do absolutely no wrong. These kinds of fans usually have the same mentality of a 10 year old. These aren’t the Disney fans who would enjoy a few drinks around the World Showcase or party at House of Blues in Downtown Disney, these are the fans who live and breathe Magic Kingdom and think Belle is the best Disney character because they have the same color hair. They are also very uneducated Disney fans. They know the princesses, they know Peter Pan, Lion King and Stitch, but they aren’t going to know anything about Walt himself or even lesser know Disney films such as The Black Cauldron. This is a majority of the people on the program, so don’t expect o have any detailed conversations with many people about park history, nightlife, or the cult classic Disney films.
  1. The Disney Fuhrer : There is always that one person at EVERY work location who takes their job of parking strollers way too seriously. Not only do they follow every rule in the book, but they are strict about you following them too. Even though they aren’t a manager, they will enforce Disney’s procedures as if they are being paid manager pay and not minimum wage.
  1. The Workaholic : The workaholic is exactly what you think, it’s someone who just came to Disney to work. This person will take every shift they can take, and will always be working no matter what time of day you ask them what they’re up to. The real question is, if you came down here just to work, why did you pick to work for a company that pays you minimum wage. Even Universal pays more… why not go there? Part of the Disney College Program experience is getting to go to the parks and fully experience everything Disney.
  1. The One Who Never Works : And now for the polar opposite of the workaholic. No matter where you work, you’ll know the person who never shows up. Disney, however, has a lot of opportunity to give away shifts and leave early by getting an ER (or Early Release). Once you get to work you can easily apply for an ER, and depending on your work area, you will probably be approved to finish your shift early if you desire. You can even try for ADOs (Approved Days Off), and if they are overstaffed, you get to go home before your shift even starts with no points on your record card at all. Because of these options, Disney makes it easy for you to barely work if you’d rather enjoy your program than work yourself to death. And of course, some people take it to the extreme and find a way to barely work during their program without it affecting their record card.
  1. The Older Guy : Every program has at least one (and there’s nothing wrong with that). There is always that cast member in their 40s-60s who you never fathomed would be a CP. That is until someone mentions that they are rooming with a 57 year old in Vista. We all now a lot of older people attend college, but you didn’t think of them applying for the College Program, did you? So just keep in mind when you’re thinking of not picking your roommate beforehand. You just moved out of your parents place to live with someone else’s parent.
  1. The Alcoholic : He drinks, he parties, he still hasn’t been to the parks yet. We all know him. Let’s continue.
  1. Sweatpants : A lot of my CP friends had sweatpants for roommates. Sweatpants are people who come all the way to the program but don’t tend to do anything with it. They will just go to work, come home, cook themselves a meal, and watch TV. No park hopping, no partying, nothing. Makes you wonder why they applied. All they’re doing here really is… existing. 
  1. Little Miss Daddy Issues : You thought you’ve met some crazies in your day? Everything else was just practice, ‘cause you’re in the College Program now. I don’t know what it is about the College Program that brings this classic mold by the busload, but girls with self esteem issues to the point where it might be a borderline personality disorder inhabit the DCP like ducks in Duckburg. No one needs attention like girls in the program, and you’re going to realize that quickly. I’ve heard countless tales of girls in the program initiating conversations with guys for days just get their compliment quota and flirt quota in for the week before they finally happen to bring up their boyfriend and have no intention of meeting in person, girls who fish on Facebook for compliments in the DCP Facebook group and through statuses, girls who make up stories about being mistaken for a princess at work by several guests that day, and just an infinite well of stories that put anything I’ve ever experienced in college and high school to shame. Two quick anecdotes on the subject to give you an idea: A friend of mine has been getting sexts and naked photos of a DCP girl, in conversations she initiated, for a week. He invited her to meet up to get the response “I don’t think my boyfriend would appreciate that.” I guess he appreciated the pictures of her stripping out of her Frontierland costume though. They still text. And one more anecdote on the subject: One CP I’ve heard of from people is very well known around the parks. She added every CP on Facebook she could find, before arriving to the program, and started conversations with most of them about how she is asexual but needs to find a man who can change that and make her enjoy kissing and sex again. Of course, a hoard of men started flirting with her and giving her the attention she apparently needed. Of course, she got here wand was no longer asexual and refused to meet with any of the guys who consoled her through her “difficult times”, but now randomly texts those same guys and asks how their mornings are or just texts a picture of herself with no text, just to feel good when they reply ask her if they can finally meet up with her.
  1. The Single One in the Relationship : This is the person you will hook up with a few times until you realize they have a significant other back home. A lot of people come tot he program with people back home waiting for them, but a lot of those people think the program doesn’t count too. You would never know that they aren’t single from the way they spend their program. I’ve met way more CPs in unfaithful long distance relationships than faithful ones. It’s actually a well known saying, “Everyone is single on the DCP.”
  1. The promoter : You may have already seen this person in the Facebook group before you even get to Disney. This is the person who posts way too much. They can’t wait to get down here and they want you to know it. Every wave of CPs has a few people like this, who everyone in the program knows from Facebook alone. When they get to the program, they will post hundreds of photos of them hanging out with their clique of friend to make sure you know how much “fun” they are having, as forced as it looks. If these people are mildly attractive, these people will start promoting for the Party Bus guys on the Facebook group and will be spamming their future events all over the Facebook group. You’ll see them selling tickets for the busses every night and will be in every promotional party bus picture. You’ll be tired of seeing their faces soon enough.
  1. The Lonely Heart : This person is single, which is a very big inconvenience to them. A lot of people come to the DCP to find their Prince Charming or Jessica Rabbit, but a lot of the time that doesn’t work out as planned. It’s a shame because a lot of people dream of that when fantasizing about what their DCP will be like. Some people just enjoy the rest of their program, other people will post a photo in the group or rant for hours about how they are going to be alone forever and how there are no cute straight guys or single guys here. Little do they consider that they are leaving in a few months anyway.
  1. The Who Wants to go to the Parks? Guy : You’ll see this guy all over the Facebook group and blowing up your phone soon enough. Every day he’s off he is going to ask who else is and wants to hit up the parks. You’ll slowly realize that it’s always the same handful of people asking and you’ll wonder why that handful just doesn’t go to the parks together and stop bothering everyone else.
  1. The International : When a new international CP arrives in your work location, everyone is going to be obsessed for the first few weeks. Even though there’s a whole World Showcase of international cast members at all times, that one Australian at your location is going to be everyone’s “shot at a foreigner” for reasons unknown. Give it a few weeks and they’ll lose their shine and be as unexotic as someone from Ohio.
  1. That Guy Who Got Termed the First Week : There’s always that one person from your building or Traditions class who you never see around anymore. What ever happened to that guy?
  1. The Roomie : There’s going to be someone you meet in the program who you will rarely see because of “the roomies”. You were supposed to hang out? His or her roomie wants to hang tough. So wanna reschedule for tomorrow? It’s movie night with the roomies though. Hoe about Tuesday? They’re going to the park with the roomies that day. Can you come? One of the roomies got dumped so it’s going to be a roomie day.
  1. The Princess : The princesses are… interesting to say the least. Physically, they are usually the most attractive CPs. You can probably already tell from their pictures on Facebook if they are going to be a princess or not, but just wait until they start working. You’d think they really were royalty. It’s the typical snootiness you’d expect, but with a hit of delusion. I’ve even seen a handful refer to themselves daily as the princess they portray. Another anecdote: I’ve heard of a girl getting on a crowded DCP bus and actually saying “I don’t believe people’s manners these days. I’m Tinkerbell, no one is going to offer their seat?” to which my “lowly” custodial friend responded “We thought you had wings.” She wasn’t even a princess, you can just imagine how they are.
  1. The Princess Wannabe : Before auditions to be a cast as a princess in the parks, many girls have confidence that they wii be the next Belle or Ariel. You can’t talk to a group of female CPs without at least one of them saying that  people have always told her she could be Belle in Walt Disney World and how she is going to audition and get it. Some of them have no doubt that its going to happen. But as soon as audition hits, and reality sinks in, that’s when the paradigm shifts completely. And what a show it is. It starts of as an exhibit of sheer confidence and fantasy. Then, they all go into a room, and one by one, every CP who said they are going to be the next Belle or Ariel is reconvening with their friends stating they don’t need Disney’s approval and how they are ready to finish their program and go home. The worst I’ve seen was the well known “Mermaid Girl.” A CP would refer to herself as a mermaid and she was the real Princess Ariel, which is weird enough. But it reaches the next level when she actually had a custom made fin and would swim in the pool with a huge green fin like it’s nothing out of the ordinary. I’m sorry, but someone who lays out and tans with their legs wrapped in green scales should not be allowed to serve food or operate an attraction.
  1. The Entertainment Outcast : The entertainment outcast just wants to be in entertainment. They do not care if it’s a character performer or a parade dancer, they just want it. They socialize only with entertainment cast members and and character attendants, and probably know more about the job than the people who work it. You can’t really talk to them for more than ten minutes without a parade or story about their character friend at work being brought up.The are usually going to every audition possible, so you won’t really see much of them during the day unless it’s in the park on the curb dancing in sync with the parade dancers during every parade. As if an entertainment manager is going to see them dancing from a distance and approach them with “Wow, you know all the moves to Move it, Shake it, Celebrate it. I have an extra costume in my trunk, can you start today?”
  1. The Facebook Friend You Never Met : If you’re about to start your DCP, then you’ve probably made a few friends in the Facebook group. You also probably have intentions of meeting all of them in person eventually. Yeah, at lease one of them is going to be really sketchy and decide to avoid you once you both actually get there. Eventually you’ll just give up on trying and randomly bump into them as a guest weeks later while they’re working and both awkwardly pretend you don’t recognize each other.
  1. The Sassy Gay Cast Member : As you know a large portion of the me in the program are gay. And while not all gay guys are the same, there is one type of gay guy who stands out and is found in abundance. In every group of friends, every location, and almost everywhere you look, a sassy gay cast member will be sassing someone. S.G.C.s have the condescending and self righteous personality you’d expect. They act as if Disney world would fall apart if they weren’t there to make you day magical, and you’re gonna get sassed out if you disagree. To give you an idea, once a S.G.C. character attendant was overheard ranting to a guest about how guests need to learn when Gabriel says “no Dole Whips in the Tinkerbell queue”, the that means “no Dole Whips in the Tinkerbell queue.” You could see the guests’ eyes roll from the back of the line.
If you’re about to start your DCP, you know have an idea of what to expect, and you’re just reading this and have no plans of ever applying for the DCP, you have an idea of the kind of people who work for the company. Note how I never mentioned a Disney connoisseur, or any kind of cast member cultured in Disney lore. Because they’re extremely rare to come by.
These are the personalities you need to run Walt Disney World - delusion, daddy issues, and pixie dust.
I did not create this list, it was made by 


Post a Comment